Name It
- Hannah Norton
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
We've noticed. Now we must give it a name.
As children, we may have been given resources to know that these bodily sensations are actually our emotional responses to life. We may have been guided gently by caregivers teaching us the names of these different sensations, seeing us where we were, and showing us dignity and compassion.
Or we may have had caregivers who were doing the best they could with what they had, but who were unable to guide us down a healthy emotional path. Maybe our emotional responses felt threatening to them, so they told us: "stop crying," "chill out" or "it's not really that bad."
But our little bodies felt like it was "that bad" and when corrected by those we love and respect, we begin to tell our bodies the same messages.
The way we were parented is the way we learn to parent ourselves and eventually parent our children.
Those of us who have been trained in the skills of noticing and naming our emotions tend to do so and give our lived experiences the dignity it deserves.
But if we did not receive the gift of these skills, we may be more likely to tell our bodies to "stop crying" "be quiet" or "it's not that big of a deal." This leads to a buildup of buried emotions that get stored in our body - resulting in triggers and a guardedness that may eventually turn into a much bigger issue.
The good news is, we are not stuck in the ways we were raised. Our brains are always learning and growing, and as we learn to notice (yesterday's post) we can begin to learn to take the next step to give those emotions a name and honor our experience with them.
So, if you've completed a body scan, or if you just notice an "off" sensation, PAUSE.
Ask:
* What is my body trying to say?
* What am I afraid of?
* What am I longing for? (ideally, how would I like this to turn out)?
Almost always, our emotion is connected to a fear or a longing.
Anger - something didn't happen the way I wanted
Anxiety - something may not happen the way I want
Bitter - someone didn't treat me the way I wanted
Envy - someone has something I want
Frustration - this wasn't as easy as I wanted
Guilt - I didn't perform the way I wanted
Lonely - I don't have the support I want
Needy - I want something
Overwhelmed - this is more than I feel I have to give (I want some in reserve)
Passionate - I want something to turn out the way I want
Sad - I'm disappointed things didn't turn out the way I wanted
Yearning - I want something to fulfill my wants
It's not an accident, I believe, that Jesus frequently asked those he ministered to: "What do you want?"
We were created with longings. That is the power behind our creations. Our lives would not be lived to the fullest without wantings.
Start here - after you notice, name it. Ask it what it is telling you about yourself. Come to a greater understanding about the way you are wired. Our emotions begin to quiet when they are acknowledged for what they are. Name it = Tame it.
Simply giving those sensations a name can begin to create the calm that you need to respond to yourself (and eventually your child) with greater compassion.