I was writing a note to a friend who had recently experienced a miscarriage. I wanted to say the perfect thing. I wanted to heal her broken heart. But the honest truth is, words cannot do that. I had nothing that I could say to make it better.
So. I. Wrote. Just. That.
My friend, I don't have the words to say to make you feel better.
I cannot imagine how you feel right now.
Loss hurts.
I wish I could fix it.
I care about what you are going through.
I'm here if you need to talk.
. . . .
Far too often, we fail to speak because we are afraid that we will say the wrong thing.
But our friend needs to know they are seen and that you're not going anywhere no matter how they process their pain.
We don't have to have fancy words. We don't have to have the perfectly curated phrase.
The wounded don't want pretentiousness. They want presence.
So if you don't intend to follow through, don't promise.
If you haven't experienced loss yourself, don't pretend you understand what they are going through.
If you are not a counselor, don't offer advice.
Simply.
Be.
You.
You are who your friend loves anyway. They don't want your words. They want you.
Tell them if you don't understand.
Tell them how much you care.
Only make promises you can keep.
A word of caution: If you have experienced loss, check out yesterday's post. Please don't write over their experience with yours.
Everyone experiences grief and loss differently.
Be honest.
Be true.
Be you!
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