PPD: Don't Go It Alone

Depressed and Lonely

"Two are better than one, for when one falls the other can help him up. And a cord of three strands is not easily broken." (King Solomon)

After my first boy was born, I struggled with feelings of failure, defeat, overwhelm. He was colicky. He was fussy frequently. He didn't sleep. (I didn't sleep.)

I was a hot mess, but I couldn't let anyone know. I felt like I needed to have it all together in order to be acceptable to my friends and family. What would they think of me if they knew I was ready to give up? What judgement or shame would I endure if they knew how frightened I was of my own emotions and how fragile my heart was?

I thought I was alone, and I thought that I had to keep it all to myself.

For months, I struggled with hormonal swings, fear, anxiety, overwhelm, and exhaustion. I was ready to be done with this mothering thing. It was so hard!

Looking back now, I should have sought help. I should have told someone I was struggling. I should have talked to my doctor, a counselor, or a close friend. Looking back now, I see that I was struggling with Postpartum Depression. But I didn't know what to do about it because I was unwilling to let anyone see that I was human.

Last week, we had a rough night here at our house, and the next day, I was a hot mess. I felt alone, chaotic internally, and I had convinced myself that no one would understand. So, I foolishly tried it again, go it alone. Get it done. Survive. It wasn't pretty!

We are all human. And we desperately need each other! Anytime we begin to isolate ourselves or convince ourselves that we are alone, we are going to struggle.

We were made for connection. We were made to support each other. And if we are not connecting with others, we are much more prone to be deceived into believing lies (that we are a failure or that life is no longer worth living.)

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, fear, or anger, I encourage you to find a friend to share that with. Maybe your mom, your sister, your neighbor or another mom friend. I can guarantee you that they have struggled too.

And if you feel like you have no place to go, feel free to drop me a line. You don't have to be alone!