Boundaries in Birth Work: Variation of Interests
- Hannah Norton
- May 26
- 2 min read
I'm just a birth doula. Everyone needs me all the time. I never get a break. I'm always on call! This is me!"
We may not actually verbalize these statements out loud to ourselves or others, but as we work in the birth field, it's easy to become so engrossed in the topic of birth that we lose sight of the other things we previously loved. And if we cross that line, our bodies begin to cry out these statements.
This sense of entrapment, begins to cause anxiety deep inside as our bodies scramble for some validation that their value is more than what they know or what they can do in the birth fields. And when we start to feel like that is our only value, life can become depressing, overwhelming, and suddenly we feel we no longer offer value at all - cue burn out, depression, anxiety, panic, and intrusive thoughts.
This is just our bodies speaking from deep inside. It's a sign that we need to pause, re-evaluate and speak back to ourselves about a value that is so much bigger than what we do! We were never made to find significance in our career. We are all beautiful, complex beings with talents, interests, and unique personalities. But how do we get back to understanding the truth of that?
Here are some ideas:
* Write a list of the bare minimum things you need to do each day in order to feel human (brush teeth, eat, sleep, shower, be outside, exercise, read, pray, etc.) Then find a way to prioritize these things - especially important while at births or after long births!
* Write another list of activities that add value back into your person (spa days, pedicures, movies, books, art, photography, coffee with friends, church events, long baths, shopping, etc.) Then make a proactive plan to engage in one of these activities each week.
* Write a list of other interests or things you may want to learn about outside of birth work (sourdough, gardening, photography, cooking, baking, construction, art, music, sports, pets, cars, religion, fitness, weather, plants, mechanics, etc.) Then do an internet search to see of there are books, online courses, or local classes or interest groups you could engage in.
* If you have a family, aim to eat at least 4 dinners per week together! Engage! Ask questions about their day and their lives. If you have friends, try to connect at least 3 times per week. Show an interest in their lives and share your new hobbies.
We cannot allow ourselves to get trapped in the lie that we are what we do. Take a step back, evaluate your being as a whole - what you need, what adds value, who you're already connected to, and what you long to learn. Doing so will prevent burnout for years to come as our bodies finally feel valued for who they really are!
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